To blog or not to blog, that has been the question. I have blogged in the past, I've been asked to do it again. I hesitate since I don't want one more commitment or thing to add to my schedule. I do feel compelled to do so at this time since in TEN days I will be setting off on my first ever mission trip, a trip to Haiti. I have been contemplating if this is something I want to share with all of you or to process myself. I have thought long and hard about this and come to the conclusion I need to share. I need to continue to spread the light that I was given. I cannot hold it to only myself, at least not all of it.
I am going to Haiti with one of my very first childhood friends, the girl I grew up next to, who happens to be a woman that I still look up to this very day. I am ever so grateful that Marni shared her mission trip stories and feelings with me last fall which planted the seed within me to join her this August. Now, I didn't just jump at the chance, it is something I had to take time to think through. Yes, I have always wanted to go on a mission trip, yes, even one to a third world country. But, what would my family think? Could I take time off work? Could I afford it? Was it really for me?
Yes, yes, yes and a resounding, YES! I will admit, the Mr. is not happy with me, I respect his feelings of hesitation, questions on my safety and his fear that he cannot protect me while I am so far away from him. My kids would love to join me on this trip, but I need to go and be in the full experience without worrying about being a mom at the same time. I can and will take off work. Being self employed, that is often hard to do. I don't get paid time off of any kind, in fact, I pay to not be at work. I feel what I experience and can do for the people of Haiti is way more payment than I could receive that simple week I am not at work. With the very generous gifts from family and friends, (THANK YOU), I am able to afford this trip without having to worry about where the money will come from. It brings tears to my eyes and warms my heart to know that there is support for me to fulfill this mission. And I must tell you how I knew this was really meant for me.
Back last winter, Marni contacted me to let me know she would be in Waseca the following weekend to speak at a church about organizing a trip with people from town to go to Haiti in April. Wanted to know if I would be interested in going with that group. It was bad timing for me, but I was glad she asked and continued to get me to think about using my time to serve. The very next day I ran into a classmate of hers at a local hot spot to eat and he invited me to come listen and consider going on this very trip. Once again, I thanked him for thinking of me but it was bad timing and I would be willing to help them with fundraising efforts. On Monday, my client came in and mentioned his church was going to take and adult mission trip to Haiti in April and he thought I would be a good person to have with. I almost laughed at this point, this was the third day in a row that someone spoke to me about this very mission trip to Haiti. Tuesday I was at the gym listening to a pod cast, the commercial was for people to help give to her plea for money to build a sugar refinery and houses in Haiti. Hmmm, is someone trying to tell me something? Wednesday the travel channel had Sean Penn on with his tent city in Haiti. Yep, there was no mistake. I heard the message. I am going to go to Haiti!
I am now ten days out. I have collected a few donations of items, I have my preventative meds, I have my clothing picked out (which I will leave there) and I have been asking for prayers and positive thoughts for the people of Haiti, the team I will be serving with and for my family to be able to accept and cope that I will be gone for a week. I have also been working on keeping an open heart and having no expectations for this mission other than to be in the moment and do what it is needed at that time. My fear right now is that how will I handle coming back? Will I resent that I am truly rich in my life? Will I be able to cope with what I experience? What about my heart? What about the mom in me? Will I annoy the crap out of everyone with "when I was in Haiti" stories?
I believe blogging may help me with all of the above. I will be taking a journal with me to write my thoughts daily. I will not take the time to blog while there, but will fill in when I return. I want to fully be in the moment while there and not worry about what to write. I will need time to process things for myself and out of respect for the mission, I will want to think about how to present things. I want to share, to spread that light. I want to show you all that if this is something you have ever thought about that maybe it's time to put words into actions, just as the new Pope has stated many times.
Once again, I ask for your prayers and positive thoughts for the people of Haiti, the mission team I am with and for my family. I know the power of positive thinking!
Live your best life!
Stacey
No comments:
Post a Comment